If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

So lots has already been happening in this short little time since I have made my last post. I’m an open book so I was just going to go into detail about everything that has been going on thus far.

If it’s not one thing that happens to me, there seems to be another. It’s getting rather annoying that I can’t seem to catch a break right now, but hey, guess everything just happens for a reason. I have received two more blood transfusions, and I have to get these because my hemoglobin is so low. When I need these is when that is between 6.0-6.5 and the average person usually runs between 13-15 I believe is what my doc said. So the second transfusion I had, they gave me 3 units of blood, and it takes about 3-3.5 hours to go through ONE BAG! The worst part? My iPad was connected to wi-fi but it wasn’t a strong enough connection so I couldn’t watch Netflix or HBO Go. It. Was. Brutal! But I had Pandora working for me, so that was good! People just assume you want to talk to them when you have headphones on. So I pulled a George and just acted like I was annoyed and busy as I slowly took off my headphone to listen to someone complain about the nurses, when they were all actually very sweet people. I didn’t want to seem mean to the gentleman, but when I do these transfusions, I just want to be in my own element doing my own thing. Okay so getting back on track, after that transfusion it bumped me up only to 9.4 – better. I felt pretty good afterwards.

I can’t quite remember what has happened between that and my 3rd transfusion, so I will just get into the good stuff now. So on Sunday the 26th, I was having a hard time moving around, my abdomen was just hurting in a way I have never felt. Just gut piercing pain! That morning, we visited the ER, I got an IV and pain meds right away to calm me down. My heart rate was out the roof at 140 BPM. After I was relaxed, I had to drink contrast and they convince you it tastes like a smoothie and it definitely does NOT taste like a smoothie, more like chalk with a hint of fake berry flavor. But it is much better over ice haha. Anyway, I had to drink the contrast and get it in my IV while on the CT table, because I’m so skinny now. (I’ve lost 12 pounds from lack of appetite – I know, not good, I’m working on it!) So I finally got the scan done, and when the results came back, my spleen was pretty much taking up the whole scan! It is ginormous! It pushed my stomach over to the side, and my stomach is very small. That right there explains why I couldn’t move and I had to walk like a hunchback because standing up straight hurt way too much. For those that don’t know, your spleen is basically what keeps you healthy. It helps the immune system, and filters your blood cells and blood around. You can live without one, but are more prone to infections that way cause you have nothing else really fighting off the bad stuff. There is nothing they can do about this big spleen of mine. The swelling will go back down once I start chemo, so they claim. I just have to live with this until then. So we went home with more pain meds, and it was back to the couch for me. Wednesday the 27th, the pain was worse, sharp, stabbing pains were taking over and I couldn’t move at all, so again, back to the ER. We wanted to make sure my spleen didn’t rupture or anything, which we knew it probably didn’t, but when something doesn’t feel right, you know it’s gotta be something. So did the same drill again, and there was nothing more wrong. Another visit, for really nothing. Which seems to be okay, nothing worse happened.

Alright, Friday the 1st was the closest day I could meet with my Oncologist about my spleen. We saw him in the morning, and he didn’t do any tests, but really just said there wasn’t much they could do except feed me with pain meds to help me not think about it. He did Rx me something that he said will try to help my white blood cell count go down and would maybe help the swelling of my spleen go down as well. I haven’t really noticed a difference yet, but he said everyone is different, it could take 2-3 days or 2-3 weeks. So guess we will see… After we left, I got a call from the nurse and again my hemoglobin was at 6.6 and so I had to get scheduled for another blood transfusion. They had to do it Saturday, and of course it’s when its 70 degrees out and sunny! It was only two units I had to get this time, so it wasn’t awful, and there were only 4 people in all day, so I didn’t talk to anyone. It was nice.

Okay, now on to the major stuff that has been happening. I told you I was going into detail, so hang with me!

Tuesday the 5th, I was starting to develop some awful, awful chest pains! It felt like a 400 pound man was sitting on my chest. I could barely breathe and the only thing that would calm me down to focus on breathing normally was of course my trusty pain pills. Sleeping throughout the night was pretty non-existent. Wednesday morning took forever to come it felt like, but we yet again decided to go to the ER. But before that, I had one more blood test to do before the search for my donor can start, so we went to do that first cause I’m tired of waiting around for this to start. Anyway, they wheelchaired me from my Oncologist’s office to the ER, just a little special treatment you get when you say you have chest pains haha. We got right in to a room and the doctor was actually waiting for us! When the hell does that ever happen? It was nice! I got into a gown, and got all hooked up with two IV’s, one in each arm, put on oxygen, loaded up with some pain meds, and got some blood tests going. Everything was going pretty quickly and soon enough I was on my way for another CT scan. I didn’t have to drink the contrast this time though, thank God! Because I was so short with my breathing and I can’t lay down flat, I had a hell of a time laying on the table. You have to hold your breath 4 different times for 6-8 seconds, it was brutal. I was done within 10 minutes and it ended up being okay, just glad it was over. The Doctor was going over several things that it could be while we were waiting for the results. One thing he said was it could be pneumonia, or some sort of infection. He immediatly started me on some antibiotics, and was explaining a procedure that may have to take place. Because the pain was in my chest, the assumpsion was that it was my lungs. We got the results back and you could see my right lung perfectly! My left lung? Not there. It was collasped and over taken by fluid. The doc immeditatly sent me up to the ICU where I would spend the rest of my night. He was explaining that I would need to get the fluid out from around my lung so it can expand and I can go back to breathing with two lungs. We got back the results from my blood tests done earlier, and I was really high with my INR. That is what I get measured for with my blood thinners I am taking. I won’t go into how that all works but I am suppose to be between 2-3 and I was at 6.6! So before the fluid could start to be drained, I had to get my blood thickened otherwise I would be bleeding like crazy from the needle for the procedure. Once I got up to ICU, we had to wait for 4 units of FFP to get here to get my blood thickened. It took about 45 minutes, but I was really comfortable and nurses were more than amazing! So after I was re-oiled up, we still weren’t where we needed to be, so I had to wait for an additional unit to get here. ugh! After about an hour, we were ready to get going! How this procedure works: I sit on the edge of the bed with my arms folded on a table. The doc numbs the spot where they are going in, which is in my back, and holy hell does that needle hurt. Once I am numb, he sticks another needle in, and threads a catheter through that hole and starts draining the fluid. All I can feel is a bunch of pressure but no pain. They took out 2 liters of fluid out! The worst part is as they take out the fluid, my lung is slow starting to expand back and I can’t stop coughing. It was ridiculous, I couldn’t catch my breath to get a good cough out, it was just constantly there. But finally it was all done, and I could go back to resting. It takes a few days to get the results back to see what the fluid is and where it’s coming from. My spleen has room to move around now, so it’s not AS painful. My breathing is much better, still not working with a full left lung because all of the fluid isn’t out yet, but it is much better.

This morning I was able to get up and walk around, and walk around STRAIGHT! No hunchback! It was pretty exciting for us. I am currently still in the ICU but I am being transferred to a regular room some time today. I am not sure if we will be in the hopsital another night or not. I know they stil have a couple tests they want to run for tomorrow morning, so we shall see. Anyway, thank you all so much for your continued love and support! Definitely am starting to need it! The search for my donor should begin real quick now, because I finished up my last blood draw and then the search is on!

I will of course update once we have some results and if any new information comes up.

Much much love!

0-100 Real quick.

Things have been… Different around here. It was all over a couple of days to where I felt great and slowly start to feel myself being hit by a bus. Tyler was sick with a cold, so I thought I was catching what he had, but knowing if I get a cold it would take 10x longer to get over it, if at all. So trying to stay away from him, it some what worked. I didn’t get sick. Yay! So what else could of been causing me to feel like hell? Well I went in for my usual blood draw and check up, and my anemia levels were so low, that’s why I was feeling so tired almost completely useless. My doc set me up to get a blood transfusion, and he told me this would make me feel almost back to normal and give me more energy. Has anyone gotten one of these before? They are really fun! Not. I sat in a chair for 8 hours while they re-oiled me up with two bags of blood. Thank God for technology to keep me entertained. Has anyone played Alto’s Adventure? It’s pretty addicting… Not that I played it for 8 straight hours. 😳 haha. Anyway, that same day we decided to do the transfusion, my doc and I also discussed it was definitely time to start looking for a donor for my bone marrow transplant. I was already feeling so weak and I just knew it had to be done. I probably should of a couple months ago before feeling so bad, but I didn’t know it would catch up to me this quick.

During this process, I also caught some cough. And I have been coughing so hard that my chest was just killing me. So I got my shift covered at work and I went in again because it almost felt like it did when I had the blood clot in my lungs, chest tight, trouble breathing, couldn’t move around much. Even though I am on blood thinners, you can still develop a clot, so we just needed to rule everything out. I got another CT scan, it was clear of clots, and no infections anywhere, thank god! Doctors also did an EKG to make sure nothing was wrong with my heart because the pain is on the left side, that showed up perfectly clear as well. So it turned out that I just really hurt my ribs from coughing so hard. So if you have a cough, be careful! That shit hurts.

So where are things now? I have been home from work since last Thursday, and Monday I decided it was time to officially go on my Leave of Absence. It was kind of a relief because I have been debating whether or not to power thru work but I decided it wasn’t worth the mental or physical stress. My team at work has been so supportive through out everything, I couldn’t thank them enough. (My store and district included) I have been so weak and definitely a couch bum for about a week just trying to heal myself up. I feel so tired, so sore, so exhausted, my ribs hurt still, I barely have an appetite, forcing myself to eat or drink, the struggle is real. For real. So sometime in the next week or two, I will be doing my testing to what they need to start finding my donor, and my treatment will be getting started. I can’t say that I’m not scared, cause I’m scared shitless, and now that it’s here, I just want to be able to put all of this behind me and become my normal self again, probably with a shaved head. Ahhhh! Haha

I’ll send out updates as soon as I have them.

Thank you all again for all your love and support during this time!

Much love!

Waiting Game.

I have been getting asked a lot about how things are coming along, which I totally appreciate the love and concern. So I thought I should probably send an update.

Things have been going really well so far. We had a nice quiet holiday, I got to spend it with friends and family. I was off of work for two weeks so that helped keep the good spirits up during the holidays. I had a follow up appointment in November to check in and see how things were progressing or not progressing, and it looks like things are moving very, very, very, slowly. I guess that’s the good part about the chronic part of cancer that I have. Doctor told me I still have plenty of healthy months left before I need to start thinking about treatment. Which is fantastic! But at the same time I just want to try and get it all over with so I can put this behind me. But hey, I’ll take it! I am set up to do blood tests every 2-3 weeks to keep an out on things. So far, so good! Everything has been pretty stable and not doing much movement, which I take as a good sign – things aren’t getting worse! I have been changing what I eat, and working up the motivation to start exercising more and it seems to all be working! Sugar is the biggest thing I am trying to cut out, and of course it’s the hardest thing to do because I have such a sweet tooth, but I’m doing alright right now, so any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Anyway, that’s really all that is new. Basically just playing the waiting game until I need to move to the next step. As always, I appreciate all the love and continued support. It means the world to me.

Much love!

Power of Social Media

I just want to start out by saying how incredibly blessed I am. I have been so overwhelmed with the response we have received since this news came out. I really am just speechless over it, so forgive this post if it sounds like a broken record – because it probably will. 🙂

The power of social media is just insane. You don’t realize how things can spread like wild fire until it’s actually happening. At one point I would look at Facebook and I would see my big blown up face 🙂 all over my news feed. In that moment though, something came over me and I realized what everyone is doing just for me. To spread awareness and give something so much attention, that takes just a few moments to post… the impact is just incredible. I can’t get over it! Then, of course there is that other moment that comes over you, and you realize that it is about you and you never thought something like this could happen. Why me? You see things like this all the time, and would always think something like this could only happen in a bad nightmare. I am saddened that this isn’t just a nightmare, it is a reality that my loved ones and I will have to face, but I know we will come out marching stronger than ever.

Most people that know me, and know me well know that I am incredibly stubborn when it comes to people do things for me. I could be home sick with a cold, wrapped in blankets, watching awful daytime tv and Tyler would offer to get me soup or something, and I would insist on getting up and making it and making sure he ate first. It’s just how I am, I can’t help it. So having to kind of sit back and accept the fact that I need to let people help is really hard for me, but such a wonderful feeling knowing I am in great hands.

I have tried my best to personally thank everyone who has sent their support via calls, texts, email, Facebook, donations, etc. I am still making my rounds, but just wanted to tell everyone THANK YOU! Thank you so much for everything! I could never imagine I would have the kind of support that I do, and I thank everyone for that from the bottom of my heart.

For now, the plan is just try to soak everything in and come up with an overall game plan for how and when we are going to get the ball rolling on this. Here is the link that has my husband’s perspective and a very detailed story about what we learned this week. You can also go to any Wells Fargo branch and donate to the Kelly Rice Donation Account. Which there is tax deducible, and zero fees. That part was a little unrealized when this was set up. But again, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the continued support!!!

http://gfwd.at/1FWxBjb

 

“You are never strong enough that you don’t need help.” – Cesar Chavez

Gearing up for Battle.

I have never been someone who wrote in a diary or journal. I have always just talked things out with friends, or let my thoughts run wild in my mind. So today I am here to try something new for myself, and just dive right in. I do have a reason as to why I have started this blog. I have a story, and want to share it with the world.

As most people know, my Mother passed away when I was 6 years old. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 27. She fought her ass off and was a breast cancer survivor for over 12 years. Unfortunately, at the age of 42 the cancer came back as a type of bone cancer. I remember her going through chemotherapy and losing all of her hair. She had different kinds of wigs she would wear, but I mainly remember the bandanas and hats. I was so young, I didn’t really understand what was happening, and before I knew it, my mom wasn’t around anymore. She lost her battle October 14, 1994. As I grew up, I could always feel her with me, and knew that I would have a guardian angel for life. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her, and what life would be like if she was still here with us.

I hate how true the saying “everything happens for a reason” is. It can be a good thing, or something that is a little more difficult to cope with and always wondering the why? In my case, and this is going to sound odd, I have met some truly amazing people, and I don’t think I would of met them if my mother was still here. My childhood best friend became friends with me because she felt sad that I didn’t have a mom. Once I was 16 and old enough for a job, that same friend got me a job at her work, and I have stayed there ever since. I have met people from there that I now call my best friends. I miss my mom every day, but I thank her for being so strong, and giving me a gift that I never would of had otherwise. My dad is the strongest person I know. Taking early retirement to take care of me, and raise me into the woman I am today. I feel I am a stronger, better person because of him and all the things he has taught me over the years. Thanks Dad!

Now that there is a little bit of background knowledge, I would like to share what road I am about to go down, and not by choice. In late July, I was having trouble catching my breath and started to have really bad chest pains. At first I thought it was just really bad heartburn, and I never get heartburn so I wasn’t sure how it felt, but just assumed that’s what it was. After a few days, the pain still hadn’t gone away, and I decided to go to the Walk-In Clinic. They did a handful of tests on me, and everything came back normal. The doctor thought I pulled some sort of muscle from work and started to tell me thats why I was in pain. I told him that doesn’t explain the reason as to why I can’t breathe. He then decided to do a D-Dimer blood test on me and see if everything was normal there. About 45 minutes after I got home, I got a call to go get a CT scan because the blood work came back abnormal. After the scan, they found out that I had multiple blood clots on my left lung. So I was then instructed to go to the emergency room, and have to stay overnight. I didn’t really think much at this time, just that they needed to fix me and get my blood thinned out to make the clots go away. Everything went smoothly with my visit to the hospital, and now I am on blood thinners for 3-6 months.

After I was home, and settled, I took about two weeks off of work cause I didn’t feel stable enough to go in, and always feeling a little groggy. I started getting really weird feelings in my arms and legs, to the point where I couldn’t walk or move my arms up and down. So again, I went to the clinic and spoke with my doctor and he proceeded to do more tests on my blood to see what was going on. At this point, I felt that I lived in and out of the doctors office. Nurses and reception started to recognize me and we would chat like we’ve known eachother for years. Not quite what I was going for, but I’ll take it! Anyway, after a few weeks of testing, it was obvious that everything was normal, but my results still were a little off and they couldn’t figure out why. I then had to get a bone marrow biopsy to determine why I was so anemic, without having an iron deficiency or lack of B-12, they were confused as to what could be going on. Well, 4 days after getting married to the love of my life, I had an appointment to go over my results……. I was then diagnosed with Chronic Neutrophilic Leukemia. It is a very slow moving cancer that is pretty rare, so rare that less than 100 cases have been filed. It didn’t really hit me until a few days later that I have cancer. Now all I can think about is how I just want to get rid of it. Being 26 years old and knowing you have this disease is just terrifying. But I have the strongest support group that I could ever imagine having. My friends and family have been nothing less than amazing, and I thank God every day for them. From what I have been told so far, I will probably have to go through chemotherapy and get a bone marrow transplant. Meaning, I will get a whole new immune system, and have to start all over. I go in for my second opinion and treatment options on the 28th, so that is when we will know a little more on what the next steps are. All I know now is that my guns are up, and I am ready to fight like hell, beat this thing and never look back!

My sweet husband added a nice addition to our yard this weekend. A ribbon for October’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month for my mother, and a ribbon for me to remind us how strong we are and how we can get through anything, just one step at a time.

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“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face”. -Eleanor Roosevelt